RJ's Blogtastic Universe

Today, for the first time in a long time, I stood outside for more than the total of one minute. It’s a beautiful thing when the weather eases up on us a little bit. Baseball has also been on my television (on mute, but it’s on there, I swear). I know it’s only the Grapefruit League, but I do love grapefruits…

I am currently locked inside my apartment, in the hopes of producing enough homework that the grad school gods will be appeased and let me out again. I am promised that it will happen in the first week of May. Ahhh, May. I’m looking forward to it.

Life in the past few weeks in a nutshell (today’s nut: the filbert!) – my sister will be producing a tiny little girl in July. We are all very excited. She requested that we all get our pink hats on – I counter requested to get my plaid flannel hat on. I’m sure we’ll be able to work it out. I have been writing heavily on my thesis stuff – click the link at the lower right if you’re interested in that. It has really been exciting – I think I am close to the final idea, and in my opinion, it’s a game changer. Of course, I always think that. I’m playing lots of racket sports on the Wii these days. The gym has become boring again, and so I have all but abandoned it. I need something physical to do that will keep me healthy, but also engage my brain. If anyone has any suggestions, that would be extremely helpful.

Must go. The grad school gods have noticed that I am not at my post.

So, here’s what is happening with Google. They are building a data center across the river, in Council Bluffs. Starting this summer and continuing through graduation in December 2011, I will be getting paid to work with them on some microenterprise development projects that they are doing in the Council Bluffs area. It’s the same kind of research that I’ve been doing at UNO, only now I get to work with Google. And make friends. Lots of friends. I’m about to be the friendliest person that they know.  And we’re going to do things that have never been done.

I’ve been lusting after a job at either Google or Gallup since before I went back to school. I cannot get over how many opportunities have come my way in the last couple of years. I’ve always been challenged in terms of having the right credentials on my resume. This is one hell of a turnaround.

There will be many more details as I go through this process, especially as I get closer and we start hammering out the details. For now, I need to get to my database homework. With great assurance, of course, that this is all going to very valuable. Good night, all.

I had a magnificent idea today. One of the components of my thesis project is an “IT Workshop” for small businesses/nonprofits in the Omaha metro area. I gather a few of my IT friends, small business owners come up with a list of common difficulties, and we all get together and figure out better ways of doing things. If you know me at all, you know this is right up my alley – better ways to do the same old thing has always thrilled me. This IT Workshop – or maybe a series of them – will be held through the spring, with possible extension into the summer, if necessary.

I’ve done many of these interactions over the years, with differing results. Whether we’re successful or not depends on many factors, but the most important factor seems to be self-efficacy. That type of “I can do this” mentality is generally a recipe for success, at least in my experience. The question is, how much of a part does it play? Is it as necessary as I think it is? Is it the most important factor, and how can we measure this? Hmmm…

As I was having this idea, I saw an image in my head (typical RJ behavior) of myself in front of a room of people, leading a sort of 10-minute session that is geared toward helping achieve an “I can do this” mentality before the IT teaching begins. For a control group, we could do the same sort of IT teaching without the ten minute session at the beginning. We could give surveys before and after the teaching sessions, and follow up by phone a few months later.

I am excited about this. We may have something here.

Darlings. It’s that time again, and as always I’m attempting to do things a bit differently this semester. I always get so stressed, but I think this time that it’s nothing that a positive attitude and some sharper organizational skills can’t fix. At any rate, what do I have to lose by trying a new plan? (I’m going with “nothing” for that answer, Chuck…)

Things I’m trying to avoid this semester:

• Worthless stress. Seriously, in the long run there is very little difference between an A- and a B+, except for my own ego gratification.
• Throwing up after I read the syllabus. Really, it never turns out badly for me – I just think that after many years of being in school, that this is the semester that it will all change. I’m going to try some positive messages this time. Again, I have nothing to lose – and possibly much to gain. I’ll be reporting on my progress.
• Focusing only on school. My brain gets tired, but the tricky thing is, it doesn’t know it’s getting tired – until it stops working completely.
• Being more accountable. it helps me feel better about things.

Well, that’s it for now – I know it’s short, but short is beautiful!!

It’s been a bit of a questionable holiday season, I must admit. Because of some different circumstances, I ended up missing many of my favorite holiday traditions. However, my favorite holiday went off without a hitch. New Year’s Eve is (of course) my favorite, and yesterday I was able to do everything I wanted to do. One of my favorite things is to deep clean my apartment. Not just clean, but do things I’ve needed to do for a long time, and get rid of things I don’t need. It’s pretty liberating. I think Jazz always wonders if we’re moving, because so many bags are leaving the apartment. I still have a ways to go before I start school again on the 11th, but I got a good start.

Purging stuff is pretty spiritual. I kind of like it. It’s an opportunity to realize that the things I possess don’t really define me as an individual. If a flying cabbage hit me in the head tomorrow, and I perished, people wouldn’t stand around at my funeral and talk about how much they were going to miss the bookshelves in my living room.

As always, I celebrated New Year’s Eve at the Millard Club. In fact, I was surrounded by friends most of the day. I’m an extremely lucky person. We did the usual karaoke bit, as well – it was a good time. I will have to say, though, that confetti really does get everywhere. I tried to shake it off at the party, but from the looks of my carpet, I wasn’t completely successful. I went home shortly after midnight to snuggle with Jazz and fall asleep on the couch.

All in all, a successful holiday. Tomorrow I’m helping to host a party, which promises to be a lot of fun. It’ll be another opportunity to catch up with some people I haven’t seen in a while, and hug nearly everyone I know. I really like those days. In fact, thinking about the last year, I’ve never felt better about myself and where I’m at in life right now. I’m a little different than most people I know. My goals are a little different, and I don’t have the same things that most other people my age have. It’s just that this year, I don’t feel uncomfortable with that at all. I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I am meant to be doing.

2010 is looking pretty good too, so far. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted!!

The holiday was pretty good. This part of the country is blanketed with snow. Actually, I think it’s more like a comforter. A big, thick comforter that no one can drive through. The last time I saw my car was about 48 hours ago. I spent Christmas Eve with the Upah’s (scored a fine pair of bongo drums) and then I headed to Council Bluffs to see my friend Alyssa’s parents. I think this is the third Christmas I’ve spent over there, and we had a good time (scored a book, treats for Jazz, and some cool figurines for the shelf). I love low key holiday experiences, know what I mean? We opened presents and hung out. The others played some games while I taught Alyssa’s stepmom how to do a couple of computer things. I was happy and useful in my RJ element.

I also saw the movie Up, which I highly recommend. Nice story and great animation, and what else is there to say? I drove home pretty late on Christmas Eve, and let me tell you, there was no danger of me falling asleep. I was terrified, to tell you the truth. The roads were a little worse than I anticipated. Visibility and snow drifts were particularly difficult to navigate. I almost just stayed over, but no one would have been here to let Jazz out. Besides, the forecast had indicated the situation was only going to get worse. I’m actually glad I headed home, because I haven’t been able to leave since. My car isn’t even in my parking lot – I had to get as close as I could and hoof it the rest of the way.

So Jazz and I have been cuddling for a couple of days now. This has been great, but I really need to get out. I’m a person who really does need some input from other people. Occasionally. It’s not being alone that bothers me, it’s knowing that I can’t really leave. I hate being told anything, which has been a rather noticeable pattern through my life. I can’t even write on lined paper, to tell you the truth – it’s too much structure for me.

I’ve painted a little bit, I’ve played the bongos, I’ve done some Internet things, I called my grandmother – and now I’m over it. I have to get out.

Here’s how my weekend trip went down:

I did successfully finish the most boring paper in the world before I left town. EPA policy is actually kind of interesting, but the way I needed to write about it felt like the world’s longest book report. At any rate, I finished that bad boy right before getting into the car and heading for Iowa.

Ahh yes, Iowa. I grew up there, mostly… aside from that foray into Oregon (that’s another post, I’m sure). This weekend I went to see Beans and her fam in North Central Iowa. Off I went, into the corn… the trip was great. I don’t know why I like road trips so much. Part of it was excitement over seeing the Bean again. I’d been looking forward to going ever since we made the plan. I also love long drives because it gives me some uninterrupted time to think. A little time to reflect on life, you know. I also turned 36 last week, another cause for thinking about the past, and the future. I really love school, but I tend to get pretty myopic about the whole thing. I shouldn’t hone in on just one thing like that – it’s not really healthy – but I like to say that I’m not obsessed, I’m just focused….

So anyway, there I was, thinking about things, singing at the top of my lungs, occasionally listening to my GPS tell me where to go – I love that thing. I really do. When I make a wrong turn, it doesn’t even bother to say “Recalculating…” which is great, because it would say that all the time (I make a lot of wrong turns. Hence the need for the GPS). I did eventually make it to the casa of Beans and Co. It was such a beautiful day that we went to sit on the porch, where two things immediately struck me. Watching her boys play on the hill reminded me of when we used to run around her yard when we were kids. Things change, but they really don’t, you know? Incidentally, this was also the nature of my second realization. She pointed out the zip line that they had set up in the back yard. I may have giggled internally, at that point. Many of you may know that I am an honorary member of the Upah family – they have a zip line in their back yard as well. Tom and I have been pretty close friends for about fifteen years, and over the weekend I was struck several times at how similar my two friends are, though I know they have never met.

Isn’t it funny, how we choose our friends? And isn’t it funny which friendships actually last? So many times in my life, mostly when I was younger, I sought out who I thought were the “right” people to make friends with. Then I would try to be someone that I wasn’t – which never seemed to work out. It turns out that the right people have seemed to show up on their own. I didn’t seek either of these two out, and I don’t remember in either case when we became friends, but both of them have had a great impact on me. Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, I guess…

And I digress. I got to meet husband Kevin and the teeny peeps (does that sound like a band name?), and the kids are quite cute in person. I had a lot of fun with them, actually. I always wonder what kids will make of me – I wear funny shoes, I have funny hair, and I also came adorned with a Band-Aid on my forehead this weekend (that’s another story). But it all worked out just fine. Max (7) and I passed notes on Saturday night, much like his mom and I used to do back in the day. He wanted to know the basics of his mom’s friend – where I lived, background ethnicity, that sort of thing. We exchanged some pertinent information – he’s quite smart with words and he likes to hunt squirrels. Zach is 6, appears to dislike rhubarb, and is missing his two front teeth. I did get to see one of the teeth. I always kept my teeth too… Will is 4, and possibly the most expressive kid that I know. Over the weekend, I think I watched him use every single muscle in his face. Mya is 2. She was a little shy at first, but she warmed up to me after a while. We put some puzzles together on the floor, and I loved it. I have quite a few nephews, honorary and otherwise, but only one niece so far. She’s quite smart, as well… Kevin and I didn’t share too much conversation, but it’s pretty clear how much he loves his family.

And the Beans? Well, what can we say about the Beans? I did not recall how much of a smartass she is. How could I have forgotten this? Perhaps I blocked it out… At any rate, one of the high points of the weekend was just trying to keep up with her. It was interesting – usually, I’m the one making people laugh. This weekend, I wasn’t the only one…

We laughed a lot. We told as many stories as we could in the time allotted. We went through some of her family pictures, and found a few photos of the four of us at one of her birthday parties. In a couple of them, I am rocking a particularly fabulous sweater vest. I would describe it here, but it has to be seen to be believed. And I’m sure that it will be posted somewhere…

Here’s something I didn’t know about Bean in 1986: she’s one hell of a cook. Seriously. I have never eaten like that, ever. Of course, my basis of comparison is me – and I just learned how to make popcorn. So perhaps I am biased in these statements – but I don’t really care. We ate things I would never think of making, and they were all fantastic. She is also an encyclopedia of food knowledge – everything you’ve always wanted to know about food, but your mouth was full, so you were too polite to ask. I think I gathered enough information to be very afraid of anything that has been partially hydrogenated.

After the teeny peeps fell asleep, we diverted to the computers for a while. Beaner had some small things that needed to be done, and it was my pleasure to try and help out. I think it helped me more than it helped her – it has been a long time since my IT talent has really helped anyone directly. It was a nice reminder that I do have some skills that really help people, that I am in school again for a bigger purpose. I sorely needed that – it’s been a hell of a semester!

And then we chatted deep into the night. I might have fallen asleep in the middle of a sentence – I’m not sure. I think we at least covered the major highlights of the last twenty years. Besides, you don’t want to bring all your baggage on the first trip – it sucks to have to check it in.

It turns out that I found Bean just as I had left her, with her feet planted firmly on the Earth. When we were kids, I was always so concerned about what people thought of my family, because we didn’t have much. Now I wish I hadn’t measured myself by such harsh terms. (My best friend didn’t.) And now I get another chance to reconnect with something a little more important. I guess we shared more than markers, in those days…

The moral of the story? Be careful who you share your markers with, obviously . I walked away on Sunday with a lighter heart, a better outlook on the last few weeks of school and a brand new set of emotional attachments. I came back home to find out that Jazz actually ate something this time, while I was away – she usually doesn’t. She was pretty glad to see me, though. I also arrived buttcheek deep in homework. The final push has begun – and the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train – I hope.

That’s all, Gentle Readers. Happy Holidays, whichever ones you choose to celebrate.

Don’t try this at home, kids.

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/00/rec0018.htm

This Thanksgiving season, I’m grateful that I will not be eating any kind of chopped pork shoulder for dinner. At least, I don’t think I will be….

Bob Donlan painted this for me a couple of months ago – I finally found someone with a vehicle big enough to help me haul it home from the framers. Incidentally, free canvasses are never really free. I got this canvas from work – they were just going to throw it away, so of course I took it off their hands. I figured I would paint on it when I had the time – that was about a year ago, so you can guess what happened. Then my Bob happened by – I’ve always wanted one of his paintings, because they are so fabulous. The Donlan never disappoints…

I never frame anything, but lately I’ve been told that looks tacky… so I took this one in to be framed. This is when I learned the true price of a free canvas – it was a really odd size, so it had to be custom framed. Eeek. Had it been a regular size, it would have cost me about 25% as much.

At any rate, I now have a beautiful painting hanging above my head – although, since I was the one that hung it, it’s not incredibly stable. We’ll see if any injuries transpire.

In other news, I’m feeling a little holiday spirit lately. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the holidays – hate the religious aspects, love get-togethers (but it depends on the get-together in question). Tonight I splashed some Egg Nog creamer into my constantly-at-hand great big cup of coffee. My favorite Christmas movie also made it into the DVD player – It’s A Wonderful Life. Go ahead, wince. Most of my friends do. I can’t help it, though – I love that story. Perception changes everything, doesn’t it? I generally put the movie on a loop until Dec 25th. Sometimes others sprinkle in, for the sake of variety, but Jimmy Stewart is my main guy for a while. I might be moved to put up my tree pretty soon – it’s been sitting in my coat closet since last year. I love a good tree. Mine is short, like me, and it has mostly blue decorations. Until last year, I hadn’t put up a tree for quite a while. No special reason, other than it’s a bit of a hassle, and I like real ones better anyway. Last year I decided that these excuses were not good enough, and I’m glad I made that decision.

So – Jazz is looking at me like I’m a little nuts for being up this late. Going to finish my coffee and run off to bed – happy pre-holidays, darlings.